Forget Me Knot, My Love
by OfficiallyNifty
Summary: So what if Hawke flirts with Fenris? Sure, they're friends but it's not like she loves the elf. There's no way she could possibly fall in love again and it's not like he loves her. One night of drinking and a fluffy sentiment say otherwise.


A/N: So, this happens to be my first story published :) This story features my OC, Constance Hawke. She's a distrustful, lovable jerk but she secretly has a heart of gold and is emotionally constipated. She's been attracted to Fenris since she met him but is convinced she can never fall in love again after a painful incident in her past. This is my headcanon of how Fenris received Hawke's favor. Imported from Google docs so sorry if the format looks wonky; I have no beta so any mistakes are mine. Constructive criticism and reviews are appreciated :)

" _I might be able to help with your problems. Or give you a few more."_

" _Only a few?" He inquired on a chuckle._

" _Or a lot."_

" _Tempting. You're a beautiful woman Hawke. Is there no one else who has your attention?"_

" _Do you see anyone else here?"_

" _I'm an escaped slave and an elf living in a borrowed mansion. None of these things bother you?"_

" _And I'm a refugee as well as a human. Does that bother you?"_

" _You have me there. You raise an interesting point. I'll have to...consider it."_

Constance was still embarrassed over bold she had been. It wasn't like she had never flirted with Fenris before but this time had been different to say the least. Fenris wasn't generally so bold. He would merely make a dry comment or occasionally snark back at her. When she said something Isabela worthy he would scowl and blush. It was one of the reasons why she had kept flirting with him; his reactions were hilarious. Yet last week he had called her a beautiful woman. Constance refused to acknowledge even within the privacy of her mind how much that simple statement had affected her. It wasn't that Constance thought herself ugly but she was indifferent towards her appearance. She was a warrior after all. Her hair was cut short for practically; her braids being the only adornment she allowed herself. She didn't have the patience or the time to do her make-up. She was far more comfortable in heavy plate than she would have be in a blasted dress or worse yet corset. She was hired because of her skill with a sword; not her good looks. So it had never occurred to her that anyone thought she was attractive least of all paid any particular attention to her appearance. And that fact that Fenris **had** noticed, well….it made her feel things she didn't want to put a name to. But he had also expressed an interest in being more than….whatever it was they were. Constance had always been attracted to Fenris. She hadn't expected to act on said attraction. In fact most of the time she desperately tried to ignore her attraction to her broody warrior friend. Yet she had flirted terribly with him only hours after making his acquaintance which thanks to Bethany she had never lived down. She had never expected Fenris to take an interest in her and now that he had she didn't know what to do. Constance felt herself trapped between the proverbial rock and a hard place. On one hand she could continue to encourage Fenris' interest and see where it would lead. Or she could put a stop to the nonsense that she had started. She had known flirting with Fenris was a terrible idea. But once she had started it had become a bad habit. Despite her better judgement she found herself blurting out terrible pick-up lines and acting flirty at the most inopportune times. Sure she was attracted to him (who wasn't?) but she wasn't looking for a relationship. Period. She had tried that once and it had been one of the biggest mistakes of her life. Her selfishness had caused the death of her beloved Papa. She was not willing to repeat history. With a resigned sigh, Constance knew what she had to do. She had to put an end to to Fenris' interest before this tension between them became a problem. Constance was angry that the thought of losing Fenris' interest upset her. She lied to herself and reasoned that it was because she didn't want to lose one of the closest friends she had had in years.

Constance waited for Fenris to arrive in the library. While he was still new to learning to read Fenris had proven an exceptionally fast learner. Constance couldn't be prouder of the progress he was making. Fenris was currently reading Hard in Hightown. It had only seemed proper that she introduce Fenris to the lovely world of literature through Varric's writing. After he completed Hard in Hightown she had planned on moving on to thicker tomes detailing the history of the Chantry and the book on Shartan she had given him.

"Hawke?" Constance looked up from where she was sitting on the sofa. She hadn't realized that it had gotten so late already.

"Good evening, Fenris. Are you ready to continue Varric's epic tale?" Constance greeted with sarcastic enthusiasm. She received a chuckle for her effort.

"I do not know if I would call the dwarf's writing epic but I am ready to continue from where we left off last week."

"Stick in the mud." Constance stuck out her tongue. She noticed the briefest upturn of Fenris' mouth before he schooled his expression. Constance gestured him over next to her on the sofa. Fenris sat down and before long the only sounds to fill the room were Fenris reading and Constance's corrections.

"Magi-st-ra-te?"

"Magistrate." Constance corrected.

"Ah, I see."

"Magistrate Dun-Dunwald? Magistrate Dunwald's…"

"That word is butler."

"A butler?"

"Yes, a butler is a head servant who watches over their employer's estate." Fenris nodded his understanding and continued on with his practice. It amazed Constance how quickly Fenris was able to learn. Early on she had devised a system. She had quickly taught him all the letters and what sounds they made. Now she had Fenris read for a time and then they worked on his penmanship. Constance could tell that Fenris was frustrated with his lack of knowledge but she didn't think any less of him and she had hoped she had gotten that point across. She did find it cute how he would scowl at offending words. Truthfully there wasn't much else she loved to do than listen to Fenris speak. He was gifted with such a delicious voice and he didn't even know it. Not that she wanted him or anyone in their group of friends to know. She would never be able to live that down. She didn't want her friends getting the wrong idea. Sure she thought Fenris was attractive and he had a nice voice. Occasionally he did something that would be considered cute but she didn't love him or anything. No, she was just..really attracted to him is all.

"Hawke." Constance looked over at Fenris.

"Yes, Fenris?"

"I have finished the chapter."

"So you have and excellent work at that. Now why don't we move on to writing?" Fenris nodded and they moved to the desk. Constance went over a multitude of words. She had made sure one of the first things he had learned was all of their names. If he had to she wanted to make sure that he could write a letter if he ever needed help. Constance hadn't failed to notice how he had practiced his and her name the most. At long last Constance was satisfied with Fenris' progress and decided to call the end of the lesson. It wasn't like she was keeping him longer than she needed to in order to spend time with him. She was only making sure he was taught well. Not that she thought that she was an amazing teacher but she appreciated that Fenris trusted her with this.

"It appears that is the end of the lesson. I shall go. I would not want to take up any more of your time than necessary, Hawke."

"Do you want to stay for a while longer?" If Varric were there he would have doubled over with laughter. The words left Constance's mouth in a rush as if she was unsure of herself; unsure of this thing between them. The mighty Champion of Kirkwall had just been reduced to the likes of a bumbling farm girl. She expected Fenris to respectfully decline. While her intentions were not improper she could see where her invitation could be perceived as such. The thought made her feel even more embarrassed. Maker, why did she ever have to open up her blighted mouth?

"I would not object." Constance's mind temporarily shut down. Fenris saying yes had not at all been what she expected.

"Right, Well, I'll bring up some more wine from the cellar then. I think there's still some Aggregio down there." With that Constance left the library and made her way towards her cellar. Maker knows she needed a moment to compose herself. _You're being an idiot. It's not like this is a romantic rendezvous. You asked him to stay longer because you enjoy his company. Because you're friends. Friends spend time together. It is nothing more._ After her mental scolding, Constance reentered the library, Aggregio in one hand and spiced rum in the other. It wasn't truly rum however. Constance had found an empty rum bottle in the cellar and filled it with some tea. She didn't fancy actually getting drunk in front of Fenris. She knew she would only make a right arse out of herself. Was it her imagination or did Fenris look rather relaxed? Must have been her imagination because she couldn't remember ever seeing her broody porcupine of a friend relax.

"You my friend, are lucky." Constance joked with a smirk; gesturing towards her hand holding the Agreggio. She took her seat next to him on the couch.

"Lucky indeed." By the maker he was smirking. Constance knew she shouldn't find that as attractive as she did. She decided not to overthink things for once and just enjoy Fenris' company.

"Careful there Fenris, that sounded an awful lot like you were trying to flatter me." Constance teased back.

"Perhaps I was." He wasn't smirking anymore but there was an intensity in his eyes that made her skin tingle. Maker, just how much wine had he drank to be that bold? Constance discreetly looked around the room and noticed that the wine bottle she had brought out prior to his arrival was gone and he had started on the second. She decided to the void with it, if Fenris wasn't going to remember it then what was the harm in a little flirting?

"If you're trying to sweet talk me out of my breeches you'll have to do better than that." Constance had to admit she was having fun. There wasn't much time for Constance to just be herself. There were even less times when she decided to let her guard down. The only thing that was currently bothering her was the fact that not only did she like Fenris' attention but she relished in it. It made her feel powerful, wanted. Constance didn't want to think of the ramifications of the very unwelcome epiphany so she poured a glass of "rum" for herself. She held up her glass and Fenris obliged by clinking his wine glass against hers. Constance downed her glass in one fell swoop. Practical jokes weren't something she did often anymore but she had to admit switching out the rum for tea was pretty clever.

"Is that so? Tell me Hawke, is that what you want?"

"Is what, what I want?"

"For me to 'sweet talk you out of your breeches'?"

"I do love listening to you talk. Your voice is positively delicious." Her words had the reaction she was hoping for. Fenris flushed all the way to the tip of his ears. It was positively adorable.

"You are an odd woman Hawke."

"Yes, I'm the odd one for finding you incredibly attractive. I mean, have you **seen** yourself?"

"Not lately, no."

"Hmm, remind me to find you a looking glass then because the view is fantastic." Constance threw Fenris a cheesy wink while laughing.

"You are as subtle as Isabela, Hawke."

"Does it bother you?"

"No, on the contrary it is...welcome. It is rare to find someone who speaks their mind so freely. I very much admire that about you, Hawke." For some reason Fenris' words made her feel all warm and happy. On any other day she would have fought the impulse but she had already decided to the void with being responsible. That was how Constance found herself kissing Fenris. For a brief moment she had wondered if he didn't want to kiss her but the sloppy, eager press of his lips against hers quelled that concern. Constance imagined that Fenris' kisses weren't the most skillful kisses but that didn't stop Constance from wanting more of them. The only kisses she had received were the chaste pecks that Andrew had bestowed upon her many years ago. Eventually she had to break apart for air. Constance didn't bother to stop the smug grin that pulled on her lips at seeing Fenris out of breath; gaze hazy. _I could get used to seeing him like this._

"Constance…"

"Was that not what you had in-" Constance did not have time to finish her sentence as Fenris was now the one kissing **her** breathless. Constance heard a thud before long fingers entwined in her hair, the other at the small of her back; pressing her closer. _Andraste's flaming knickers!_ Constance decided that fair was fair and one of her hands found purchase in Fenris' hair. _Oh, it's as soft and fluffy as it looks._ She wasn't sure how long Fenris kissed her but all good things must come to an end so yet again they parted for air. Constance was not prepared for the look of desire in Fenris' gaze. Sure it was one thing to kiss your drunk best friend but it was another thing **entirely** to let your drunken best friend ravish you. No matter how attractive they were. Constance knew she somehow had to put a stop to this before things got completely out of hand.

"Hey Fenris, there's something I want to give you." Constance said before Fenris could pounce on her. Fenris didn't say anything but he watched her intently as Constance went to her bedroom to retrieve a red ribbon; stumbling slightly on the way for effect. She returned to the library and took Fenris' hand. To her surprise he didn't start glowing. Constance wound the ribbon around his wrist in a forget me knot.

"You know what this means?" Constance asked gesturing towards the ribbon.

"No, I do not."

"This is a forget me knot. That forget me knot means that I will always be here for you; that it's a token of my affection." Constance wasn't sure what she was expecting but Fenris gently kissing her knuckles was certainly not it. Nor did she expect Fenris to mutter unintelligible Tevene to her before he fell asleep on her shoulder. She knew Fenris had to be the lightest sleeper in all of Thedas but for the first time in years she prayed to the maker. She prayed that Fenris wouldn't wake up. After a lot of careful maneuvering, Constance managed to get away from Fenris and quietly make her way to her bedroom.

Constance quietly laid on her bed, the reality of what had transpired weighing down on her like Snort. Clicking and snuffling alerted her that her faithful, four legged companion had just entered the room. She got up and closed the door as he made himself comfortable on her bed. She felt Snort looking at her in a way that can only be described as 'what dumb thing did you do this time?'

"Hey, it was not all my fault. So you can stop looking at me like that." Constance whispered to Snort. Snort clearly did not believe her.

"Alright so maybe I kissed him; multiple times. But he kissed me back!" Snort rolled his eyes at her, Constance was certain of it.

"Ok, so I also gave him my old ribbon and tied it around his wrist in a forget me knot." Snort snorted at her.

"What? It was just a silly impulse, don't try and make it into a bigger deal than it is. It's not like I'm in love with Fenris." At that Snort shot her a deadpan look.

"Don't even joke about that. There is absolutely no maker damned way I am in love with Fenris. I don't fall in love; not after Andrew." Snort did not believe her she was sure of it.

"Can I get you a ladder so you can off my damn back?" Snort kept staring at her. "What, don't tell me you want me to talk to Varric about this?" Snort shook his head yes.

"Fine but only so you'll stop looking at me like that. But I'm telling you right now, I am not in love with Fenris." Snort huffed and decided to finally go to bed.

"Goodnight, you giant pain in my arse."

Constance awoke the next morning to discover that Fenris had at some point gone to his own mansion. She had expected that but what she did not expect was to see Fenris still wearing her favor the next time she saw him.


End file.
